Stay With Me
by hfcmfan2013
Summary: Morgan worries about Reid after the events of "Demons".
1. Chapter 1

**Follows the events that happened during "Demons". Some small changes may occur to fit the story together but nothing drastic. Morgan and Reid are together in this, because I can make them be together, so if you don't like it don't read it. **

**REVISED 10/2015. Re-wrote some parts of the story to better fit some of the characters. Same story line, some parts are slightly different.**

**-CM-**

Derek Morgan sat in the hospital bed with an IV in his hand, a throbbing pain coming from his left bicep but he didn't acknowledge his discomforts. Hotch, Cruz and Rossi were in his room talking among themselves but he couldn't focus on what they were saying. If someone had asked him he would have been honest and said his mind was somewhere else. JJ walking into his room snapped him back, hoping she would bring good news, news that would lower his anxiety and fear. The news she brought, instead, only made him more anxious to get out of the hospital bed, back in the field, and find the bastard that had shot his lover. Everyone could see and feel his frustration when he started to untie his hospital gown and demanded to be released. He stopped when Cruz said he would be soon and focused a bit more when Cruz started talking to Hotch and Rossi, butting in when he speaks of the high-pitch sound he and Reid had heard when shots had first been fired, remembering when Reid had brought it up in the ambulance, the last audible thing he had spoken to him before he fell unconscious. As JJ, Cruz, Hotch and Rossi walked out of his room to heading back to the station and find Dinah, Morgan sighs and closes his eyes, pushing his vest with two bullets still embedded, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

When he feels a hand caresses his cheek, he opens his eyes to see Garcia still in his room, putting on her brave face and a small smile on her face. She wipes away a tear that manages to leak out of one of his eyes. "Hey, no crying now," she says softly. "He's gonna be ok Morgan. The doctors will work their magic and he'll be ok."

Morgan closes his eyes and nods his head, unable to say anything at the moment. It's silent for a few moments before Garcia asks cautiously, "How was he? In the ambulance?"

Thinking about seeing Reid so pale and going in and out od consciousness makes the tears Morgan had been fighting back fall now. He takes a few moments before he speaks, wanting to make his voice as clear as possible.

"It was bad Baby Girl." He takes a tissue from the box by his bed, erasing all tears in his eyes and wiping the ones that had managed to fall away. He clears his throat before continuing. "He was out of it for most of the way. He couldn't keep his eyes open for long and when they were, they were unfocused, staring straight up at the light. When we were driving away from the scene, he said 'it sounded like a teakettle. Did you hear it?' I couldn't understand what he was talking about right then, but when I was getting checked out that's when it hit me. He was talking about the sound the gun going off. Even as injured as he was he was still working the case. Still the same old Reid." Morgan laughs the last little bit and when he looks up at Garcia he sees she's doing the same.

"Yeah," she says softly, gripping Morgan's hand tightly. "Same old Reid. Never stops working the case. Not when Tobias had him, not when he was infected with anthrax, not when he was shot in the knee. He never does stop working."

Morgan only nods his head up and down, unable to form words to say anything. It was one of the many things Derek loved about Reid and hated at the same time. Derek loved how much Reid wanted and was willing to help others, especially his teammates, sometimes not taking advanced notice of if his life would be in danger. It had become one of the many topics they bickered about back at home, one that would never be resolved because it wasn't just Reid who did the same thing. It was Morgan too. Morgan couldn't help think that their readiness to help people without thinking of their safety might get them killed someday.

_If he isn't already dead,_ Morgan thinks to himself. _Where are the damn doctors? Why haven't we ben updated?_

Neither of them spoke until a knock on the door got their attention. When they turned their heads they saw Blake standing there, her face expressionless, making Morgan worry even more. If there was one thing he disliked about Blake it was her great ability to compartmentalize. She came into the room and stood over him, placing a gentle hand on his right shoulder, making the fear that Reid was dead even more prominent.

"How you feeling?" she asks looking right into his eyes. Her eyes and voice hold no clear emotion, making Morgan unable to even guess if she had good or bad news.

"I'm ok. Hurts a bit but I'll heal just fine. Have you heard anything about Reid?" he asks anxiously. This waiting game was killing him.

She nods her head and she says, "His surgeon just updated me. He's ok; he made it through surgery and is up in recovery." She feels herself sighing with relief with Garcia and Morgan, the elation knowing their coworker was going to be fine. "The bullet nicked some vessels but they were small and they were able to repair the damage. He said we could go see him, though it'll be some time before he'll wake up."

Garcia looks down at Morgan before she gets up. "When will they discharge you?"

Morgan shrugs slightly. "It should be soon; they just want to make sure I don't have a concussion from the fall I took and to make sure no infection is settling in. Go, I'll meet you up there soon." Morgan looks away from Garcia and turns to Blake. "What room is he in?"

"I have to head up to Recovery to find out; I'll text it to you. Try to relax for a little while. He's ok. He'll be the same old Spencer Reid you know and love."

Morgan smiles at her, knowing she's right. Reid was fine, just hurt. He blushes slightly when Garcia places a kiss on his cheek before she shuffles over to Blake. They head out and for the first time since the shooting started Morgan found himself alone with just his thoughts. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, knowing that the love of his life would be just fine. Before he knew it, he was asleep with a smile on his face.

-CM-

About an hour later Morgan found himself walking up to the room Blake had texted him earlier, scared and anxious and elated to be seeing his boy again. His doctor had discharged him earlier, urging him to rest and relax. _Not happening, _he thought to himself as he changed out of the hospital gown and into a spare set of clothes someone from the team had brought him. He had been walking quickly but as he found himself getting closer to Reid's room he slowed, suddenly worried at how bad he would look. He knew he was still unconscious and wouldn't be up but Morgan just wasn't sure what to expect. Coming around the corner, he spots Garcia outside the door leading to Reid's room.

The two best friends embraced in a hug, Garcia squeezing him tightly but not tight enough to hurt him. Morgan looked up to get a quick glance into Reid's room through the open door only to see Blake watching him closely. Morgan slips out of Garcia's hug, hands going to her shoulders, eyes still glued to Reid's room still.

"How's he doing?" he asks quietly, voice shaking slightly.

Garcia sighs as she lets go of Morgan. She moves into his line of vision and looks right into his eyes as she says, "He's doing ok. He's been stable since he got out of surgery but hasn't woken up yet. His doctor has been by to check on him, said the anesthesia has worn off and he should wake up soon."

Morgan nods his head and walks quietly into the room. He sees Blake and gives her a small smile before looking towards the bed. What he sees scares him. Reid, laying in the bed, a white bandage wrapped around his neck, mouth slightly open, his skin almost as pale as the sheets covering him. So focused on Reid, he doesn't notice Blake getting out of the chair she had been sitting in and leave the room, giving Morgan the time he needs with his love. Unconsciously Morgan walks to the chair and sits, intertwining one of his hands with Reid's, taking care of the pulse oximeter on his finger. He spots the _Doctor Who_ figurines on the sliding table that's placed in front of his love and he can't help but laugh slightly, knowing Garcia did that to provide Reid some comfort once he finally woke up. He glances at Reid's face, worried about how pale he was, how the normal dark circles under his eyes seemed to be five shades darker and more pronounced. With his other hand he gently strokes Reid's cheek, hoping it would cause a reaction as it normally would when they would be lying in bed together. When Reid doesn't respond, Morgan feels the tears coming back. He sits on the edge of the chair and gets as close to Reid as he can, his arms leaning on the bed.

"…Pretty Boy?" he asks after a few moments. The only sound Morgan hears is the constant beeping from the monitors above the man he loves. After clearing his throat and wiping some tears away he continues. "Come on Pretty Boy; I know you can here me. Can you open your eyes for me?" When nothing happens after a few seconds Morgan sighs and looks down at the floor, tears sliding down his face and falling onto the floor. "Spence," he starts off slowly, eyes still on the ground. He knew if he looked at Reid he would break down crying and he couldn't afford to do that now. No, he needed to be strong. "I need you to wake up; I need to see your eyes. Baby Boy, I don't know what I'd do without you. You've become my everything. I can't envision my life without you anymore. You give me confidence, you help bring me up when I'm down, and you're always there for me when I need to talk. We need you Spence…I need you, more than you'll ever know. I love you so much Pretty Boy."

Morgan starts stroking his thumb over Reid's hand unconsciously, a motion that Morgan found in the years they had been together calming and reassuring when Reid was upset. Unable to hold it in anymore, Morgan cries softly. He gets off the chair and leans over Reid's face, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, his finger still placing gentle strokes on his hand. A tear slides off of Morgan's cheek and lands on Reid's cheek, sliding down slowly. As Morgan pulls away and sits back down he feels slight pressure on his hand. Looking down his frown turns upside down when he sees Reid's fingers clutching his hand slightly, his thumb trying to move in the way Morgan's was.

A gasp escapes from Morgan as his eyes travel back to Reid's face. A smile breaks out when he sees Reid's eyes moving under his closed eyelids, trying to open. Grabbing his hand tightly Morgan says excitedly, "Pretty Boy?" When he sees Reid move his head slightly and moan in pain he places his hand on the side of Reid's head, stilling his movements. "Hey don't move so much Spence. Come on now; just open your eyes for me. Let me see those gorgeous eyes."

It seemed like forever to Morgan, but a few moments later, with some gentle coaxing, Reid's eyes slowly open. Blinking multiple times Reid looks around groggily, unfocused on anything until he spots Morgan. Morgan bursts out into the biggest smile he was sure was ever on his face before and says quietly, "Hey there, Pretty Boy. Welcome back to the land of the living." His hand that had been holding Reid's head taveles down to his cheek, his thumb doing what he had been doing to Reid's hand. His smile widens when he feels Reid lean into his touch slightly.

"Derek," Reid rasps, his throat sore and dry. His eyes slide shut but pop back open moments later. He still felt incredibly drowsy and his throat was as dry and rough as sandpaper.

Reaching over to the bedside table Morgan grabs a small cup of ice chips and offers some to Reid, the affect of it being felt immediately once in his mouth. The ice-cold liquid soothed some of the discomfort he had felt only moments ago and sighs in contentment, closing his eyes. He still felt incredibly tired.

The feeling of Morgan's lips on his brings him back to the present moment and he kisses him back with as much love as he feels Morgan is. When Morgan pulls back Reid grins at the smile that seems permanently plastered on Morgan's face. After being fed more ice chips he looks into Morgan's eyes and says, "Hey."

Morgan can't help but laugh slightly at not only his lover's simple statement, but at the confused look on his face. Wiping some stray tears away Morgan sits on the edge of Reid's hospital bed and kisses him on the forehead. "Hey there Pretty Boy. How you feeling?" he asks again looking Reid in the eyes. "And don't you lie to me."

"Honestly I'm feeling ok," Reid responds. "It hurts a bit and I feel really tired but I feel great considering I just got shot in the neck." He and Morgan laugh slightly until Reid moans in pain, shitting his eyes tight, his breath hitching slightly.

Morgan sits Reid up slightly, and then Morgan gets himself lying down in the bed. Once he's comfortable he lays Reid against him so that his head is on his chest and Morgan wraps his arm under his back so that his hand lies over Reid's chest. "Just breath baby boy," Morgan says into Reid's ear. He can't help the smile that takes over his face when Reid lifts one of his hands and places it on top of Morgan's, squeezing as hard as he could. "The pain will go away soon. Just breath through it and focus on my voice, I'm here for you. I love you Pretty Boy."

Morgan repeats this over and over again until he hears Reid's breathing evens out. When he notices Reid's grip on his hand loosen, Morgan knew Reid had fallen back to sleep. Gently Morgan shifts himself out from under his boyfriend and lays him back gently into the bed, not once letting go of Reid's hand. Once he's settled he brings the blanket up and kisses his cheek.

"I have to go back to work baby boy," he says quietly to Reid even though he's asleep. "I have to find who did this to you. Garcia and Blake will be here when you wake up; I'll be back soon. I love you Spencer and I'm so glad to have you back." He kisses his cheek one final time and slips his hand out of Reid's before walking out.

He walks out and shuts the door quietly, heading towards the waiting room where Garcia and Blake were waiting. It's Garcia who attacks him first.

"Did they kick you out? I thought you would have been in there longer," she says as she hugs her Chocolate God, Blake standing behind her.

"No, not at all. He's back asleep; he woke up for a few minutes," Morgan says back as he leads both women to their seats and sits in one himself.

"He woke up?!" Garcia shrieks.

"How was he feeling?" Blake asks.

Sighing in relief Morgan leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. "Yeah he woke up. He's doing ok. Said he was feeling relatively ok, just sore and tired. He was even joking around until it caused him some pain. I got him to relax and go back to sleep." Looking back down the hallway from where he had come from he sighs and looks at his co-workers.

"Can…can you guys stay and keep an eye on him? I have to head back to the station and find this son of a bitch who almost killed my boy," he asks, anger becoming the dominant emotion by the end.

Garcia nods her head and leaves to head back to Reid's room. Blake walks up to Derek and places a hand on his shoulder.

"He's in good hands," she says locking eyes with Morgan. She can clearly see the anger, hurt, love and desperation laced in those big eyes of his. "I'll stay until he wakes up again, then I'll be back at the station. He'll be ok."

Morgan nods his head and Blake walks down the hallway to meet up with Garcia. Sighing and rubbing his face, Morgan reluctantly leaves the hospital with the knowledge that right now his baby boy is safe.

-CM-

Gun raised Morgan practically runs towards Reid's room, heart pounding and sweat dripping from his face. The entire drive from the station back to the hospital had Morgan terrified that he may be too late, that Reid could die if Deputy McGregor had gotten to him. Morgan would be forever grateful to Garcia for managing what she had done: getting Reid out of his room safely and creating a distraction so that McGregor couldn't get to him. On the drive to the hospital he had gotten confirmation that they were heading back into Reid's room and despite being in pain and tired, Reid was safe. As he was walking towards his room, however, that sense of relief was washed away when he heard a single gun shot.

Heart racing Morgan reached Reid's room to see a nurse lying on the ground moving his legs slowly, Reid sitting up in his bed gasping for breath and Garcia with Reid's gun in her shaking hand saying something Morgan couldn't hear from where he was standing. After placing handcuffs on the nurse's wrists, Morgan glances up at the most important people in his life and see them in a tight embrace, providing comfort to each other that they were ok. With medical professionals now taking over, Morgan gets up and walks towards Reid and Garcia.

Garcia notices him first and pulls away from Reid, wiping her eyes of any tears that had leaked out. "Derek, I'm so sorry," she says as they embrace in a hug.

"Why Baby Girl?" he asks confused. "You saved Reid's life. You did something you weren't even trained in and did it perfectly. You had better aim than Pretty Boy did when he first went for his qualification."

"Hey, I resent that," Reid says as loudly as he can, lying back down. Now that the adrenaline that had been running through his veins was decreasing he was becoming more aware of the pain in his neck. "I wasn't that bad of a shot."

Walking over to sit by Reid, Morgan says, "That's not what I heard. Hotch told me one of your shots his the paper dummy in the groin. What do you call that kind of shot?"

"One that I wouldn't be able to duplicate even if I tried," Reid responds quietly, wincing as a slice of pain hits him. He closes his eyes and breaths through his nose, moaning slightly as the pain builds.

Morgan picks up his hand and runs it through Reid's hair. "Baby, you ok?" he asks.

Trying to show he could be strong he nods head, but his eyes stay shut tight. "Yeah, I'm fine," he manages to hiss out through clenched teeth. He knows it's useless and that Derek wouldn't believe him but he tries anyway. As much as he tries to hold it in his body betrays him and tears start to slide down his cheeks.

"I'll go find a nurse," Garcia says as she walks out of the room.

With one hand still in Reid's hair, Morgan uses his other to wipe off the tears flowing down his boyfriend's face, trying to calm him down. Reid never complained about being in pain; normally he wouldn't say anything until Morgan pried it out of him. He knew that if Reid wasn't just saying he was in pain, that he was also crying as well, he knew it was bad. "It's ok baby. It's gonna be ok; Garcia went to go get a nurse. You'll feel better soon, baby. I'm right here Spence." Morgan slips into the bed and resumes the position he had been in earlier, giving Spencer the chance to focus on something other than the pain: hearing Morgan's heart beating. Almost immediately Reid calms down, his breathing evens out and the tears slowly stop.

Neither of them notice Garcia's return with a nurse, not until she goes to insert a new needle into Reid's hand. Morgan keeps him distracted, knowing that ever since his using days Reid can't stand the sight of needles. Two minutes later the nurse is finished. "There we go. You should be feeling better soon Dr. Reid. Try to get some sleep; that'll help dull the pain some." When she receives a nod from her patient and two big thank you's from Garcia and Morgan she walks out, leaving the three of them alone.

Garcia walks over to Reid's other side and places he hand gently on his shoulder. "Why don't you take a nap, 187? The pain won't be so bad and you look exhausted."

When Morgan sees Reid about to protest he cuts in before he can even speak. "She's right baby. You need to rest in order to heal. I don't mean to sound mean, but baby…you look like hell." All three laugh at this for a moment before Morgan grows serious again. "I'm serious Spence. Go back to sleep. I can see your eyelids drooping, I know you're exhausted."

"Stay with me?" Reid almost pleads.

Pushing some of Reid's hair off of his forehead he looks him in the eyes and says, "I wish I could baby boy, but we haven't caught our unsub yet. We know who he is, we just have to find him and we're so close. I'll come right back; the team needs me right now."

It was a selfish thought, he knew. Reid didn't want him to go; he wanted Morgan to stay with him, right by his side and keep him safe, safe from any potential attacks but mostly from the pain. He wanted to say this to Morgan, beg him not to go, not to run right into trouble like they tended to do, but he could feel the power of the pain meds and his exhaustion catching up to him. The only thing Reid gets out is a plea of "Be careful" before he gives into the desire to sleep.

Once Morgan is sure Reid is sound asleep he detangles himself from Reid and kisses his cheek before looking to Garcia. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Keep him calm for me?" he asks.

"Of course my Chocolate God," she says as the two best friends embrace in a tight hug. "Go, and do as Reid says: be safe. We'll see you soon."

With one last look at his man Morgan takes off, pulling out his cell phone and calling JJ.

-CM-

They were finally on their way home. From where he sat on the jet Morgan could see Reid resting peacefully on the couch, head buried under a pillow someone had found and a blanket draped over him. This was the first time Morgan had seen his man since he had left the hospital. Cleanup at the junkyard where the shootout had occurred took more time than he thought it would have, and once everything was finalized there they had to deal with everything else at the Sheriffs office. Just as he was about to head over to the hospital Morgan received a call from Garcia, saying that Reid was being discharged, Blake was there with them and they would meet them at the airstrip.

When he, Hotch, JJ, Cruz and Rossi made it to the airstrip they spotted another black SUV and knew Garcia, Blake and Reid were already there and on the plane. Staying professional was the hardest part for Morgan; the desire to run up those steps was extreme but with Cruz not knowing of their relationship he couldn't do that. He walked coolly up the steps onto the jet, spotting Garcia first. He was about to ask where Reid was when she placed a finger to her lips and pointed to the couch next to him, where his boyfriend was sleeping. Smiling and sighing a deep breath Morgan takes his seat and relaxes.

The sound of his phone vibrating in his pocket is what makes Morgan take his eyes off of Reid. Glancing down he sees it's a text message from Blake. _What the hell?_ he thinks as he opens the message.

_I know it's late and Reid needs his rest, but can I accompany you guys back to your place? I need to say something to him and it can't wait._

Glancing behind him, a puzzled expression on his face, he sees Blake staring out the window. There's a look on her face that Morgan can't quite decipher. Sighing he replies back,

_Yea I guess so. I have to fill his pain prescription so while I do that you guys can talk. Everything ok?_

A response is sent within seconds. _Of course, there's just something I need to tell Reid._

When they land everyone leaves except for Reid, Blake and Morgan. Garcia gives Morgan a squeeze on the shoulder, telling him if they needed anything to just call. JJ reminds them to take care of themselves. Rossi wishes everyone a goodnight before following JJ and Garcia off the plane. Cruz just nods his head at them and Hotch shocks the two awake members, giving Morgan and Reid the next two weeks off. When they're finally alone, Blake grabs their bags as Morgan walks to Reid, kneeling on the floor and placing a hand on his right shoulder, shaking it slightly.

"Come on Baby Boy, time to wake up. Time to get you home and in bed," he says when Reid doesn't respond. After a few more tries Reid finally wakes up, gasping as pain radiates from his neck when he moves it too much, momentarily forgetting his injury. When the pain passes Morgan and Blake delicately helps Reid stand and walk down the stairs of the jet, leading them into the cool night towards Morgan's waiting car.

Helping Reid into the front seat and buckling him in, Morgan looks him in the eye. "Blake is coming home with us baby," he says quietly, suspecting Reid had a headache since he was squinting. "She's gonna stay with you for a little bit while I get your pain prescription filled."

Sleepily Spencer replies, "Derek, do you have any idea what time it is? No pharmacy is going to be open this late. I can last without them."

"Don't pay that bull on me Spence. I saw you in pain at the hospital, remember? I know it hurts baby and I can't stand to see you hurt like that again. There's the 24 hour CVS down the road; I'll stop by there to see if they have a drop off box. No arguing Spence, this is final." When no protest comes from him, Morgan walks over to the driver side, placing the keys in the ignition and when it starts he drives towards their home, wondering what Blake needed to say so badly to Reid that it couldn't wait a few days.

The car ride remains silent the whole way to their apartment. Once Morgan parks he unbuckles himself and get out of the car, walking towards Reid's door. He helps Reid out and then places a kiss on his forehead. "I'll be back soon baby, ok?" Reid nods is head and he and Blake start walking into the building.

Morgan gets back into his car and drives off to the CVS just down the road. Spence was right once again. While the store was open, the pharmacy closed for the night hours ago. He drops off the slip in the slot and walks over towards the frozen foods and picks up a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Spence's favorite, and some extra strength Advil just in case they didn't have any at home. He wouldn't make Spencer suffer through the night without some type of relief, even if he did want to refuse it. While there he picks up some word searches, cross words, sudko books to keep Spencer occupied while he had time off to heal. Paying for the items, Morgan walks out with a small smile on his face, anxious to get back home and check on his man.

Not five minutes later Morgan finds himself parking their car and walking into the apartment he and Reid share. Taking out his keys when he reaches the second floor, he places the key in the lock and unlocks the door, shutting it behind him quietly. He walks into the kitchen to put away the ice cream before it meltes on him and grabs a bottle of water and the Advil, then proceeds into the living room. "Spencer, where you at?" he calls, not seeing him anywhere.

"Bedroom," he hears and walks into the room where he finds Spencer sitting with his legs crossed Indian style, his hands clutched around a pillow that's sitting between his legs. Morgan sits down next to him while opening up the package of Advil, taking two pills out, and twisting the cap off of the water. "Here Pretty Boy, the pharmacy was closed but I picked these up. It should help for tonight. I also got mint chocolate chip ice cream, your favorite." When he gets no response he looks over, noticing that Spencer is crying, tears falling down onto his beautiful cheeks.

"Hey, hey what's going on Spence? Are you in pain?" When he's greeted by silence he starts to panic and pulls Reid over, enveloping him in a hug. "Come on Pretty Boy talk to me. What's wrong?"

Silently, so quietly that Derek almost misses it, Reid asks, "Are you ever going to leave me?"

Derek pulls away slightly so he can look into Reid's eyes, even though Spencer wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Where is this coming from Spence?"

"Everyone leaves me," he says quietly, staring down at the blanket that covers their bed. "My dad left me and never came back. My mom even left me to some degree, though I can't blame here for that. She didn't mean to; it was her disease. Then Ethan left me when he dropped out from the Bureau and after that case in New Orleans all those years ago. Elle left, and then Gideon left. Emily was forced to leave for a while, then came back only to leave again. Now Blake has left. Everyone I love leaves me and I don't think I can survive being left behind again."

Shocked by his boyfriend's confession Morgan is speechless for a moment. "Back up for a second. What do you mean Blake left?"

Reid reaches his left arm to grab something on his nightstand that Morgan didn't notice earlier. When he tossed it to Morgan, he caught it easily and opened it. He didn't expect to see it was Blake's credentials. "It's why she wanted to come home with us. She wanted to say goodbye," Reid starts saying. "Back in Texas, after I got shot, I was in and out of consciousness. It's all a bit hazy but one clear moment I remember is Blake coming over to me, placing her hand over the wound to cut back on the blood coming out and saying 'Ethan, open your eyes'. When we got here I asked her who he was and she admitted that it was her son who passed away at nine. I apparently reminded her of him a lot. When he passed she begged him to open his eyes." Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand he adds in, "Besides Emily she's the only one to give me a reason for leaving. Everyone I love leaves me, Derek, and if you leave me…I have nothing. My mom's getting worse, where some days she doesn't even remember who she is and besides her, you and the team and all I have left. I can't lose anyone else."

Morgan wraps his arms around Reid and, no longer able to hold back the tears, Reid cries on his shoulder. Morgan, not sure of what to say, hugs him tightly, running his hand up and down Reid's arm. He lets him cry it out, providing comfort he knows his man needs right now. Fifteen minutes pass before Reid pulls away and Morgan grabs the tissue box on his nightstand, pulling some out and wiping Reid's face and placing one under his nose. Reid blows into it and takes the rest of the tissues from Morgan, sighing out a quiet 'thanks' as he tries to calm his breathing.

"Listen and listen well Pretty Boy," Morgan starts off when he feels Reid has calmed down enough. "Since the first day you started at the BAU I have been in love with you. It may have taken us a long time to realize that, but my feelings have been present for a long time. You are an amazing person, one I can't believe fell for me. You're so kind, sweet, ridiculously smart and cute, and you put everyone else above yourself; that's something I admire about you. I can't say why everyone you love leaves Spence, but I can tell you this: it has nothing to do with you. Your dad was a coward; Elle and Gideon had their demons that they couldn't live with anymore so they had to walk away. Ethan and you just grew apart; it happens sometimes. Your mom, Emily and Blake may have left you but they all still love you. When your mom has good days she tells you she loves you so many times I loose track. Emily may be at Interpool but she keeps in touch with us and we do still see her, just not as often as we like. We may not have Blake anymore but she's just a phone call away. We may not see them but they are always right here, Pretty Boy," he says, pointing to Reid's chest where his heart was. "As for me, I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon. My eye has been on you since I fell for you all those years ago, and only you. My heart, my soul, is dedicated to you and will never go to anyone else. I love you so much Spencer Reid and I plan on never letting you go."

Reid looks into Morgan's eyes for the first time since he came home and sees the raw emotions in his eyes. He can see the love and desire and knows Morgan truly does love him and will never let him go. He leans in and captures Morgan's lips, kissing him for the first since when he had first woken up in the hospital. How long they kiss is unknown but when they pull apart they're both panting. "I love you too, Derek. So much," Reid says when he catches his breath.

Morgan pushes some of Reid's hair behind his ear and cups his cheek, wiping the last of his tears away. "Come on," he says quietly. "Let's get you some ice cream and then let's hit the hey. You still look like hell Pretty Boy."

Laughing slightly they get out of bed, arms wrapped around each other. While they eat their ice cream together as they watch TV, Derek pushes Reid to take some pain medicine. When he starts to fight, Morgan uses the excuse that he needs the sleep to heal. Some complaining later Reid takes the medicine, a smile plastered on Morgan's face until they decide to go to bed. They get on their respective sides and once settled Reid scoots back until he's pressed against Morgan's side. Reid smiles when Morgan places one of his arms around him. Morgan kisses the top of Reid's head, whispering in his ear, "I love you, Spencer Reid. Forever and always."

Sleepily Reid responds back, "I love you too Derek. Forever and always."

They settle into each other, sleeping peacefully for the first time since Texas, knowing each was safe and never leaving each other.

-CM-


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, so I didn't like how I ended this story so here's some more. Hope you all like it!**

-CM-

Derek woke up to bright sunlight hitting his eyes, making him flinch and groan softly. Opening his eyes he glances at the clock and sees it's almost 12:30 in the afternoon. _Jeeze, we sure slept in late, _he thinks as he sits up slightly and rubs his eyes to try and wake up more. Glancing to his left he sees Spencer still peacefully sound asleep, all curled up in the many blankets on their bed. It had been a long night with both of them suffering nightmares. Morgan's had been about either Reid dying in the ambulance before he even made it to the hospital or about Reid's nurse killing him before Garcia could get Reid's gun out of his patient bag. When he woke from them he found himself panting and in a cold sweat, looking over at Reid to make sure he was, in fact, still alive and right besides him.

Reid's had been more quiet, more along the lines of a lot of moaning and murmuring to himself, tossing and turning. Most of the time Morgan would provide soothing words of comfort and that would be enough to make Reid calm down and go back to sleep. There were, however, sometimes where Morgan had to shake him awake and then comfort him as he cried softly. Morgan didn't ask Reid about his dreams; no, Morgan was more concerned about getting his man back to sleep so he could heal. He knew they would end up talking about them at some point. Reid wouldn't hold them to himself very long and Morgan wouldn't let him do that because they didn't keep secrets from each other.

Checking his phone Morgan was pleased to see no new notifications from anyone on the team. He was worried about Garcia, she had been too distraught in the hospital after shooting the man and on the plane home she had been very quiet as well, but right now Reid was his only focus. He gets out of bed, pulling his sheets up and tucking them closer to Spencer's body to keep him warm. Reid stirs at the movement but then leans his head into the blankets and sighs, falling back to sleep. Laughing quietly Morgan places a gentle kiss onto his man's forehead and walks out of the bedroom to the kitchen.

Reaching the kitchen Morgan heads straight for the coffee machine and turns it on. While the coffee brewed he debated with himself on what to make to eat: breakfast or lunch? Not knowing what to make for Reid, not knowing what he'd be able to swallow without much pain, he settled that he wanted something very easy since he was still so tired. Digging in the refrigerator he pulled out cheese and butter and started making himself a grilled cheese sandwich. As that was cooking Morgan couldn't help but let his thoughts wonder over the events that had occurred over the past few days. How close he came to loosing Reid. Not only once, but twice did he almost lose the most important person in his life. And both times he almost died it wasn't him who had saved him; no, doctors and Garcia had saved his boy. That guilt had been consuming him for a long time and he couldn't let it go.

"That's about to burn, you know." As deep in thought as he was it wasn't until he heard Spencer talk that he came back to his scenes. Jumping slightly Morgan looks into the pan and sees that his grilled cheese sandwich had become a burnt cheese sandwich. Cursing quietly he throws it into the garbage can and starts again.

"I didn't hear you get up," Morgan says to Reid as the young man sat down with his coffee mug in hand.

"I kind of woke myself up," he says quietly, looking down at the ground. "I had a nightmare and you weren't there to get me out of it, so when it ended I woke up with a scream held in the back of my throat. Then I smelled the coffee and knew you were awake."

Morgan sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm sorry baby," he says to Reid as he flips his sandwich. "I only woke up about a half an hour ago and you were still sound sleep; I didn't want to wake you up until I had to. Are you hungry?" Morgan takes his sandwich out of the pan and brings it over to the sink.

Silence for a few moments until Morgan hears Reid say, "Yea I'm hungry. I could eat."

Smiling as he walks over to his man he asks, "What are you in the mood for: breakfast or lunch?"

After some internal debate Reid says, "I think I'll just have chicken broth if we have it. I don't think I can swallow much right now," as he lies down on the couch, being extra careful not to jostle his neck.

Kneeling by his lover's head he moves some of his bangs out of his face. "How is the pain Spence?" he asks in a quiet voice. He smiles when Reid unconsciously leans into the touch.

"It's not as bad as it was when I first woke up," he says softly, just as Morgan had. "The pain is still there, will be for a while, but it's manageable. As long as I don't move it the wrong way I'll be fine. I'm still somehow really tired." As if to announce it further he yawns slightly.

Chuckling to himself Morgan can't help but smile even though he knew his Pretty Boy wasn't being fully honest with him. "Well how about I make you the chicken broth and then afterwards we hit the shower and spend the day relaxing in bed. Hotch gave both of us some time off."

Looking at his man Reid says, "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." Morgan leans in and places a gentle kiss on his lips before getting up and walking into the kitchen. He had a feeling Reid had some bottled up emotions and thoughts, just like he did, and he would make sure they each shared them with each other and soon.

-CM-

After they both finished eating they placed their dishes into the sink and then moved into the shower together. Morgan helped Reid wash his hair and his body so he didn't have to bend too much and hurt himself. When finished they got dressed in fresh pajamas and Morgan had Reid lie in bed while he got Clooney from their neighbors. Reid sat in bed, looking up at the ceiling, his mind running in a thousand different directions, thinking about what had happened to him and his team the past few days. Thinking back to when he was shot, his fears of not being able to say goodbye to Morgan, had him panicking so much that breathing was becoming difficult. He was no longer in his bedroom; he was back lying on the ground, head resting against the bumper of a police car, the smell of blood prominent and hearing gunshots everywhere. His hands started to clench and unclench unconsciously as his vision became hazy, breathing becoming more difficult and his neck began to throb.

So deep in the panic he hadn't heard Morgan come back into the apartment, didn't hear Clooney running down the hall to their bedroom or feel him jump onto their bed. Morgan rushed in to find the love of his life in a panic attack. Clooney was licking his Spencer's face but it didn't seem to be helping much. Morgan jumped on the bed and put his arms around Reid.

"Hey, c'mon Spence, I need you to calm down. You're right here in our bedroom, sitting on our bed. My arms are wrapped around yours, Reid; I'm right here. Clooney is right beside you. You're not where you think you are, I need you to come back to me." Morgan repeats this over for the next five minutes, rocking Reid slightly and rubbing his arm, knowing his physical touch will help bring him around. Slowly Reid calms down, his breathing returning to normal and the pain becoming the dominant feeling.

"Derek…" he says softly, unable to say anything else at the moment. Some of the panic is still there, but feeling Derek there with him makes it disappear. He tries to turn his neck to the right so he can face Derek but he twists it too much and a sharp stab of pain hits him. He gasps at the pain and can't help some of the tears that fall from his eyes.

Derek sees the tears and pulls Reid closer to him. "It's ok baby boy, it's ok. I'm right here with you. You're safe." They stay in the embrace a little bit longer, Clooney staying right by Reid when Morgan gets up real quick to grab medicine. Reid takes the pills willingly and after swallowing them they lie back down, Morgan still holding Reid close to him.

After a few minutes of silence Morgan is startled slightly when he hears Reid whisper, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Pretty Boy?" he asks, unable to make eye contact with him for he was hiding his face.

Sighing Reid says, "I'm sorry for scaring you. I never meant to get hit; I just wanted to get Blake out of danger. I heard you scream my name when I got hit, I could hear the panic in your voice. I even tried to respond back, but I couldn't. When Blake was with me, before the ambulance came, I wanted to ask her where you were, I wanted you with me but I felt so tired and talking was impossible." He feels something wet travel down his cheek and he's slightly embarrassed to find himself crying. He brushes them away quickly before continuing. "I almost let myself go. The pain was horrendous and with the amount of blood I lost I was really lightheaded, dizzy and couldn't focus on anything. A part of me told myself 'why fight the pain when you can slip into peaceful darkness forever?' That's when I heard you, and felt you grab my hand in the ambulance. You told me to stay with you and I knew I couldn't let you down; I couldn't leave you like how you lost your father. I'm sorry I almost did." His inner turmoil finished he lets the tears fall faster and starts to sob.

Morgan squeezes Reid closer to him and kisses the top of his head, rubbing his hand up and down Reid's back. At some point Reid shifted his position so his face was buried into Morgan's chest, and all Morgan did was continue to hold him close and let him cry, even letting some of his tears slip from his eyes.

When Reid seemed to be done Morgan whispered into his ear, "You have nothing to be sorry for Pretty Boy. You fought to stay alive and you're here; that's all that matters to me. Yes, you scared me, petrified me, when you were hit but you were determined to pull one of our team members, one of our friends, out of harms way to safety. That's courageous of you, something I'll always admire about you." He pulls Reid away slightly so they can face one another. He sees tears still lingering in his eyes and he wipes them away before continuing, looking directly into his mans eyes. "I was scared when you were going in and out in the ambulance and when the medic said your pressure was dropping. I kept talking to you, demanding you stay with me and not to leave me, not leave the team, not leave Henry or anyone else that matters to you. When we arrived at the hospital the medics and nurses had to physically pull me away from you; they only reason they did succeed in that was because I knew if you had a chance of survival it was with the doctors and not me."

He could feel himself getting chocked up so he stops talking for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. Before he could speak, however, Reid speaks up. "You saved me Derek."

Morgan shakes his head before responding. "No, Spence, I didn't save you."

"Yes, you did," he argues back, sitting up slightly.

"NO," Morgan yells, pulling away from Reid and getting out of bed. He paces around the room while he talks. "No I didn't Spencer. Blake was the one who applied pressure on the wound to stop the blood flow. I wasn't there; instead I was chasing down our suspect when you needed me the most. The paramedics kept you alive until we got to the hospital. The doctors were the ones who fixed the blood vessels that got hit. Even Garcia saved you when the nurse tried to kill you. I wasn't there when you needed me; I wasn't there to protect you. I didn't save you and it kills me to know that because I swore I'd always be there to protect you, to keep you safe."

Unable to stand anymore Morgan sinks down to the ground and cries his heart out. These thoughts had been in his mind since first seeing Reid in the hospital and it felt good to finally release the pain he had been holding in. He hears Reid climb out of bed and kneel in front of him but he doesn't open his eyes, too ashamed of himself to look at his lover. He pulls away when he feels Reid's hand on his shoulder, not wanting any comfort right now. He deserved to feel as hurt as he did.

"Derek, listen to me and listen to me well," Reid starts off, ignoring the fact that Morgan wanted nothing to do with him at the moment. "You did save me. I know for a fact that it was you who pulled me behind the police car after I got shot. I may have been out of it but I know your touch. In the ambulance I heard your plea and I fought extremely hard to stay with you. Hearing your voice, feeling your touch, kept me wanting to live. After the surgery, when I was coming to, I heard your plea for me to wake up. Knowing you were right beside me, waiting for me, is what made me wake up. Hearing your voice is the best medicine I can have, better than anything the doctors could give me. I know you feel guilty about not being there when Garcia had to shoot the nurse, but you were out doing your job, hunting down a killer. You being there after I ripped out the IV lines, being there to comfort me when the pain got bad; you saved me from begging the nurses to give me the narcotics they usually administer." He grabs Morgan's face and pushes his chin up, making him look directly into his eyes. "You saved me from having to fight withdrawals on top of pain from the wound, and that's something I can't thank you enough for. I don't know what I'd do without you Derek." He moves forward and places a kiss on Morgan's lips, happy when he responds back.

They kiss for some time until the need for breath is demanding. They sit together on the floor for a few minutes before Reid uses his hand to wipe away Morgan's tears. Looking into each other's eyes they both see the love, passion, and sorrow they feel and can't help but be grateful that they remain intact, together, relatively healthy and with each other. Morgan gets up off the floor and pulls Reid with him and together they walk towards their bed, lying down on their respectable sides, cuddling close to one another. They kiss a few times before Reid lays his head on Morgan's chest, right over his heart so he can hear his heartbeat. They both say a quiet 'I love you' to each other before falling back to sleep, exhausted from releasing their inner demons. They quickly fall to sleep, knowing one another was safe and right next to them.


End file.
